1.1

Het alarm klonk... weer.
Met een soepele routine werd de drang naar slaap in het lichaam weggedrukt en sprong hij uit het stapelbed. Zijn schoenen en kleding had hij nog aan, al heel lang aan.
Hij stonk.
Enkel sokken wisselen waren prioriteit geworden. 'Op droge voeten kun je blijven lopen!' was hem sinds het begin dat hij hier was ingedrild. Bijna blindelings liep hij door het complex naar de schuttersposten.
'ZOMBIES!!!!' riep de Luitenant. De zoeklichten hadden de lopende doden reeds in het vizier. Hij leek meerdere personen in de massa dood vlees te herkennen. Was dat niet de trauma arts en zijn assistente ?

Het inlijven bij het leger had van hem wellicht ook een zombie gemaakt. Hij had gekozen voor veiligheid boven de schamele kans om het buiten te overleven. Het leger had hem geholpen met overleven. Trainingen door mariniers en groene baretten hadden zijn vruchten afgeworpen. Niet dat Henk onbekend was met een wapen. Zijn jarenlange dienst als politieagent hadden zijn vruchten afgeworpen, maar het leger was toch nog iets anders. Hij had vooral verzocht om meer training in het 'up close and personal' gevecht. In zijn ogen kon elke debiel vanaf een muur een trekker overhalen en zombies aan pulp schieten.
Ondanks zijn toch wel snelle vooruitgang werd hij gezien als een tweederangs lid. Iemand die niet fit genoeg was voor het zware werk en dan maar politieagent was geworden. Het kon hem niet schelen. Hij leefde nog, al begon hij meer en meer af te vragen hoeveel dat nog waard was.
Al zijn familie en kennissen in Rotterdam waren waarschijnlijk al dood. Het was chaos toen er een grote uitbraak vanuit de haven uit brak na 'het fenomeen'. De ziekenhuizen lagen vol en al snel verspreide de zombies zich van daaruit doorheen de gehele stad. Hij had nog geprobeerd zijn vrouw en gezin te redden. Hij schudde zijn hoofd weemoedig, de herinnering snel wegdrukken voordat ze vorm begon te nemen.
Maastricht was met zijn eeuwenoude vestingsmuren een van de weinige steden geweest waar de bevolking na het ontstaan van de lopende doden veilig kon wonen, maar Henk wist dat dit slechts een facade was. Maastricht werd langzaam leger en leger en de mensen uit het 'veilige' centrum stonden steeds vaker als rottende hompen vlees op de muur te beuken om binnen hun godennektar te verorberen... wij.

"VUUR!"

Het ritme van de machinegeweren klonken en de roze mist verscheen.
Hoeveel ammunitie zouden ze eigenlijk nog hebben ?

over 2 years

It has been over 2 years... but now I will use it to create some stuff I wish to write down... here goes... (woot woot).

Saw (2004)

So, as I have not seen so many horrors in the past 2 weeks, I have decided to do a review of a movie I had seen way before I started this blog.
I choose to got for Saw first. Almost 6 years old now, Saw is one of my personal favourites in the Horror genre. Though some might not agree with me (although I do not see why, Saw seems to be a typical love or hate movie), I found Saw a superb movie. It also brought a new villain in Horror land, with his own identity, methods and reason. However the villain is, unlike many villains in horror land quite mortal and even dies in the 3rd movie. However, he has planned everything so carefully, his legacy continues.
Like in many Horror movies however, the 1st episode in the range (Saw VII is already incoming I think and I did not even see Saw VI yet) is the best.


The Story is basicly about 2 guys, chained up in some sort of industrial abandonned bathroom. They cannot get out, but as the movie progresses they get more and more clues on how they actually can get out. This is all a sick and gruesome mindgame setup by Jigsaw, the bad guy in all of the Saw films.

There are also some nice subplots which will return and sometimes finish in the sequals.



As the movie progresses you slowly come to realise what they actually have to do to get out. The thought behind it I found gruesome and therfor thrilling. The traps of Jigsaw are allways very inventive and the story why he does what he does is disturbing yet a great find.
Saw is one of my favourite horror movies. Therfor I cannot but give it the highest grade I have.

Therfor I say... Saw (2004): 10/10 on the Weirdo's Scale of Horror.

This is for me a classic which I hope will trhill my kids (when their age is high enough, this is not something you show to little kids).
p.s. I will not put this grade in the list as I will post more on my all time favourites which will all rate very high (9+)

Silence

You might have thought I forgot about you... but no.

I have been watching 2 movies which I was not sure I could brand as 'Horror'.
In the end, when I watched them, I have to say no. The movies I talk about are Sweeny Todd and The Excorsism of Emily Rose.

Especially the last I expected to be a horror, it even says so on the cover but no and I tell you why.
The Excorsism of Emily Rose. Sounds scary... if you google it the pic's look kinda scary, but the movie itself is all but that. The movie is a court room drama about the priest who did the excorsism and is on trial.

So the 'scary part' of the movie are actually flashbacks to how it came to be. Even then it never gets really scary, just a bit occult at most. Too bad as I was hoping for something like the Excorsist, which this movie is totally not !

Also they claim it is based on a real story, which is a load of crap. If you look around on wikipedia a bit, you find there was this woman who was famous in Germany for being posessed but that is it... really.

Then I also watched Sweeney Todd and I hear you think, dude that is a musical... yeah, so... the title is: Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber from Fleet Street. He had silver razors...could be cool.

Directed by Time Burton which I like so in the end not a bad movie, if you look over all the bullshit singing which makes the film slow and a bit dull. There are some great splash effects in the film when he cuts up his victims, but it never really gets scary... and that my friends is what I think makes a movie a horror or not... there has to be some form of fright in the movie and both of these do not have it...

Though both not Horror movies, they were both not too bad. Sweeney Todd had been nice without the singing and Emily Rose could have been nice without the court room drama....

Therfor no rating...

The Ring: two

Ok so I watched the Ring 2. I did not dislike the first one, which had an interesting story which was different from the standerd stuff. So actually I was hoping for a good thrill on the second movie. I jumped into bed, turned off the lights and watched... the movie ended and I was still waiting for the first thrill moment. I was heavily disapointed.

Short overview of the movie: Mom and kid move from Seattle to get away from it all, Samara (ghost girl) follows them, people start to die and weird shit happens.

The main issues this movie has is that it never gets frightning, there are holes bugger then Samara's well in the plot and the basic reason she returns is just retarted. The only good thing were some of the SFX which were really nice but that is all.
This movie was not even close to The Ring in weirdness and frightfactor, where there were some moments which really made me go WTF!
Samara looks more human in this movie and the reason she does what she do, makes her more human then the killing demon she was in The Ring. Therfor the movie does not impress one bit and I was not even feeling a slight tingle of fear or dread or ickyness one little bit. The mangles corpses she leaves behind were not scary as you were expecting them if you seen the first film and the other supernatural things that happened were more of a Special effects moment then a fright moment. In the end things even get emotional with the mother-child relation bladibla... if I wanted to watch a chick flick... I would have my girlfriend pick a movie.
The Ring 2 is a waste of time, money and is no light in the dark well of horror.
The Ring 2 gave her own grade even before they made it...
Therfor I say... The Ring 2: 2/10 on the Weirdo's Scale of Horror

SAMARA STAY IN YOUR WELL AND NEVER LEAVE AGAIN...


unfortunatly... wikipedia stated they are about to make a 3rd episode in the wonderful 3d... don't expect me to go to the cinema spending my money on this... unless they decide to do 'something new'

Deathwatch

We all know the English can produce some very fancy horror, Hellraiser is English. I have put this in the DVD-player with the intention this was going to be mediocore at max. However it completely blew me away.

Short recap on the scenario: A company of British soldiers in World War 1 land in a trench where things are weird !

This movie starts off with Shakespeare a little teen of 16 who lied to join the army (the sod!). He and his company need to attack... things get a bit vague here, but they end up in a trench with 3 german survivors who claim evil has taken hold of the trench.

The English do not believe it and 2 Germans die very quickly. A last one is treated like a dog. Then chaos asumes and weird things start to happen in the trench.

Nice characters, you could really see how shitty life was in the trenches with mud, rats and bodies everywhere. Horrible wounded, cold, rain... everything.

This movie rocked, as the 'bad guy' in this movie is not seen, heared, smelled or whatever... though the tension was feelable. I loved it.

This movie is a great horror in my eyes with enough of every ingredient. There is a lot of tension

in the movie as well as it takes you along and wants you to find out what exactly is wrong, which in the end is even not 100% clear. Deathwatch therfor is a must see for every true Horror fan in my eyes.

Therfor... Deathwatch rates: 8.5/10 on the Werido's scale of Horror.

See No Evil

In a wondrous way I had more time to watch horror movies. The first was See No Evil.
Was surprised to see a WWE (ex WWF for u old farts) logo in the start. Kane, a known wrestler plays the bad guy. Short overview: few criminal kids need to clean old hotel as part of their punishment. Bad guy lives their and goed killing them.
Not a bad movie... but no surprises, it felt like railroading a lot.
The bad guy has no identity and is not given one. Many parts of the plot are stolen from known franchises. No boobies... This is a bit Friday the 13th like... and Friday the 13th needs boobies.
Not a bad horror in a whole, thoug plotwise and atmosphere-wise a turndown, which is sad as it think it had more potential then it showed.

Not much more to tell about this really. Though not a complete tard not a shiney star either.
Therfor I say... for See No Evil: 6/10 on the Weirdo's scale of Horror.

Ode to the Bad Guy: Cenobite Pinhead

Demon to some, Angel to others.

Cenobite Pinhead. One of my true icons in the Horror movie scene and I think many other Horror fans think alike. As head of the Cenobites, he has the power to create new ones. Though I know his story I allways wondered who made him... does he serve a master between him and Leviathan or is he a direct follower ?

He is a demon, that is lured out by the curiousity and urge to solve things in mankind (in the form of the Lament Configuration). He has no remorse, though, unlike many other bad guys, can be bargened with. By far the kewlest costume of all horror movie bad guys and a head full of nails (with maggots at the end), flesh hooks on chains as weapons and an twisted imagination on torture, he is a true artist in his work. Though you might frown on my words above and before you call the cops, I am glad this is all fiction. But as a true horror fan we love the gore and I am no exception to that. If I would describe how a demon looks, Cenobites would be my choice.

Ahtough I think the current movies (I have not seen the last 1 or 2 parts of Hellraiser though) do not show his full potential and I would have some great ideas to make a part in the series, I think he is still an Icon of horror and has earned his stripes to become the 1st Ode the the Bad Guy. I bow to you Mr. Pinhead, for being pure awesomeness.

The Gravedancers

This movie I knew was not going to be in my favourite list of Horrors... though as a fan I had not seen it and had the chance so I did.

Basicly this movie had a lot of overflows with 'Drag me to Hell' but with a less comedy tone to it (bitter serieousness even).

As I like to make this a tradition... the very short overview of the storyline:

4 friends, 1 dies, 3 other say goodbye to him on the graveyard in the middle of the night. They find a rhyme, state it, drink, dance on graves. Dead spirits come to haunt and kill them.

The best part of the movie was the rhyme which I really liked:

O Joyful, O Delighted, O fortunate one !

Weep no more, this departed son.

Read these words, sound thy voice.

Revel and Sing, Rejoice Rejoice !

Life's for the living, not the dead.

Forget tomorrow, live now instead.

This night you breathe, while they cannot.

So dance ye soul on their resting spot.

O fool, O lout, O unfornutate one.

The dead now mocked, their time has come.

Heed these words, for souls do roam.

And with this curse, follow you home.

Its rage will swell, as night grow bright.

Despair and fear this fatal plight.

From moon to moon, you'll have this guest.

to seal thy fate and lay you to rest.

Although this is a nice one, there are things in this movie that even for a horror are hard to imagine. a few points: suddenly they are from their friends plot to the part where the evil people lay. Of course the pretty woman gets a rapist, the married man a female who killed her lover and his wife... and the dumb ass bum gets a pyromaniac kid. Come on... please be BIT more original.

The ghosts with their white eyes and large 'smile' has been done and although wikipedia says they are a combination of very original thoughts... they look crap and VERY fake...

They try to fight the ghosts... of course the "non-main characters'' die and the main characters do... cliché, waste of time....

Therfor I say... The Gravedancers: 3/10 on the Weirdo's Scale of Horror

30 Days of Night

I borrowed some dvd's and one of those was 30 Days of Night.

Short story overview: northern Alaska, a village which has darkness for 30 days a year. Vampires come to snack for a 30 day buffet.

Not a bad theme, haven't seen this before, though not overly original. I was surprised to see Josh Hartnett as the lead role (the Sheriff), he is surely dropping of the Hollywood A-list apparently.

However... There are some really nice effects and make-up in the movie, which they were even nominated for with some awards I never heard of.

However some of the vampires looked like freaked up clowns, with a wide grin of spikey teeth that could not scare me. Also the feeding of vampires is not really well shot. Feeding looked like a spastic seizure instead of a real feeding I like to see with vampires. I am a large vampire fan myself and this is not how I would portray them... which is a shame.

The vampires are a bit of smart beasts, brutal and even stupid at some times, which again... is a shame.

Overall the film has a pretty nice story and the ending made me smile in the end...

Though I do not consider 30DoN a waste of time, I cannot grade it high either.

Therfor I say... 30Don: 6.5/10 on the Weirdo's Scale of Horror!